a nice objective article...

read this from peyups and the girl made sense.... my thoughts in italics...

Theories on Why I Don't Have A Boyfriend
Contributed by batgirl95

Many twenty something girls out there are asking: Why am I still single? I’m sure every other girl/woman/lady asks the same question. Pare-pareho tayo ng litanya: “I’m smart, I’m not completely unfortunate looking, I’m funny and I’m willing to commit but WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?” Well, instead of going crazy asking myself that question, I decided to come up with a few answers. I’m not saying I’m drop dead gorgeous and as smart as Marie Curie but come on, every guy I’ve talked to told me they want a smart, witty, sensitive and attractive girlfriend. I’m sure all the other ladies my age possess these qualities and at the risk of being redundant, we all ask ourselves: Why are we still single? Allow me to present the top three theories that sprung from my demented mind:

1. Naghihirap ang bansa natin at bumabagsak ang ekonomiya. Hindi naman kasi ganun kadali humanap ng trabaho ngayon di ba? Nagtitipid ang mga lalaki dahil mahal na ang bilihin ngayon. Sa panliligaw palang, kahit sa Dangwa ka bumili ng bulaklak, magkano na ang gagastusin mo. Isipin mo pa ang pang-gasolina or pamasahe papunta doon at ang katakot-takot na traffic. Eh di sana, ipinang-lunch na nila yun hindi ba? Tapos siyempre dahil kailangan magmukha silang concerned, kailangan lagi nilang tinatawagan at pinapadalhan ng text messages ang nililigawan nila. Isipin niyo nalang yung load na nagagastos nila or yung binabayaran nila sa bill ng telepono. Minsan, demanding pa tayong mga babae dahil gusto natin imported na chocolates or flowers na mamahalin. Kung hindi naman tayo demanding, gusto lang talaga nila magpa-impress kaya mamahalin ang ibibigay na mga regalo/suhol sa nililigawan. Siyempre, pag naging kayo na, magastos parin. Because of the infamous male ego and pride, hindi pwedeng sagot ni babae ang date kaya si lalaki parin ang magbabayad. Kahit KKB, gagastos parin si lalaki. Sayang ang pera. Even if you love each other that much, love won’t pay for the movies you know. And think of the gifts. Every Christmas, birthday, Valentine’s Day, Anniversary, etc., you have to give your significant other something. Especially pag Christmas kasi sisipsip pa sa magulang, kapatid, pinsan, etc. ng girlfriend/nililigawan at bibigyan sila lahat ni boyfriend/manliligaw ng regalo. Mahirap kumita ngayon dahil mataas ang unemployment rate, mahal ang bilihin at likas na kuripot ang mga lalaki. Hence, females like me have no boyfriends.

I would have to agree on this. It's not that girls are materialistic but guys need to impress a girl on their first date. I guess am still the old fashioned gal who prefers dinner or movie and a ride home. Because of this it can be expensive on the part of guys during the dating stage. I'm no expert but I have gone on dates to say so. In just a date a guy can actually spend close to a thousand. One date I had I think the guy spent almost a thousand on both our food alone. He was lucky he has a friend holding a party in a bar we got drinks for free. I dont demand special treatment but it's guy's nature to really impress a girl on a date. Once my friend asked me if I wanted to date this guy but we had to reschedule it coz the guy doesnt have the budget. See what I mean? Girls dont demand chivalry, it's just out of decency that a guy treats the girls they date extra special. Then come the second date and the relationship thoughts. That can be really costly. Weekly dates, movies, gifts, etc. I guess for me another disadvantage is I live in the south where cabs hate giving rides. So at the very least the guys should really have the car unless he's so "martir" to comute from his place to my house. I have learned my lesson never to tell the guy you have a car. It doesnt work to my advantage coz guys would have it easy. I have dated a guy where we just meet, as in he brings his car and I bring mine. Not good! Sometimes I wish I live somewhere in Makati where it is accessible. Then maybe there's more chance, right?

2. May mga babaeng perfectionist. Admit it, every female is looking for the perfect man. Apparently, the perfect man does not exist… yet. What are the qualities we look for in a man? Gwapo, may kaya, responsible, mature, sensitive, funny, smart, presentable, gentleman… the list is endless. We have to face the fact that the perfect man doesn’t exist kasi it’s practically impossible to find all these qualities in one man. If we ever do, the guy is gay, a priest or married! No, I’m not saying that we have to settle for second best but maybe, just maybe, the perfect guy is out there, we just have to lower the standard a notch. He might not be perfect in every way but his flaws just might be the very reason that you will love him. Kasi yung imperfections niya ang reason why he might need the person made for him… for that person to be the one to pick him up when his flaws take him down. I’m not sure if that made sense but I do hope you get the point.

I would have to somehow disagree on this. If you're in college you have this high expectations on guys but once you start working you become more realistic. You start to realize that guys don’t come in one package. But to be honest I still have my standards but believe me they are realistic. Physically I am not looking for Mr. Model, at the very least he should be taller than me like 4 inches. I have gone out with shorter guys and it’s so awkward if I’m wearing shoes with heels and he looks up at me. Come on am a petite girl and I would certainly want somebody who is taller. All else just average on the physical side. Personality, the guy should be at least be a gentleman. That’s all. I don’t expect the guy to be sweet, mushy, too sensitive, smart. I rely more on the chemistry upon meeting the guy. And believe me they are not all the same.

3. The last great theory (and the most likely) of my demented mind is that there are more males born than females every minute of the day. I don’t know what the ratio is now but a couple of years back it was 4 females to one male. Can you believe that? Imagine sharing one boyfriend with three others. Plus you have to face the fact that maybe that one male wants to be a female. Or that one male devotes himself to God. Siyempre, hindi mo kakaribalin ang Diyos di ba? Or that one male is married. Would any female want to play second fiddle? I know I wouldn’t.

True enough! I was looking for a map on the net and I came across a population statistics page for residents of Paranaque. I was not shocked to see that there are more women than men. It’s a known fact. Think about it, if there are more women than men and most men are married or gay then there could be a ratio of 3:1. The fact is already known that there is a shortage of men and yet these available men are not boyfriend/husband material. Thus, more single women.

Patience is a virtue, that’s my mantra. The theories I made up are just there to console me whenever I feel I’m missing out on something kasi I’m single. Case in point: Valentine’s Day or weddings or family gatherings na hinahanapan ako ng boyfriend. He’s out there somewhere, the boyfriend that at the moment is missing in action. While he’s not there yet, enjoy being single. Sabi nga ng iba, wala pa tayong sakit ng ulo and pag gigimmick, sa parents lang tayo magpapaalam at walang message na biglang darating from a boyfriend asking us where we are, who we’re with and what time tayo uuwi (daig pa ang tatay ko!). The perfect guy for me will come along when I’m not looking for it. And when he does, I’m sure everything will be worth the wait.

As a final thought on this. Yes I’m single, but I am not alone. I may not have a loved one right now but I have loved nonetheless. There are times that I long to have that special someone by my side but I am fine living and loving my independence. I have lived 23 years of my existence not having a boyfriend I guess a few years is not gonna be a long wait. Anyway, I’ve gotten used to it.